I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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