guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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