I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
