your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
