Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
