I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
