There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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