my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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