we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
There was a lot of him and a little penis
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I'm experimenting with sincerity
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
