so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
