i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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