Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
