btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
