I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
