so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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