I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
