Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
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