when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
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