i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
