And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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