So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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