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• (845): View more from New York

  i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste

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• (808): View more from Hawaii

  Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?

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• (563): View more from Iowa

  The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.

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  29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard

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• (707): View more from California

  I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  I slept with him to see his dog one last time

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect

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• (206): View more from Washington

  Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.

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  21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor

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• (425): View more from Washington

  Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"

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