Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(205): View more from Alabama

I only kidnapped one of them. chill

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(205): I only kidnapped one of them. chill http://tfl.nu/ogw5

Replies (10) Good night (3093) Bad night (797)
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(510): View more from California

The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.

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(510): The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker. http://tfl.nu/49dy

Replies (25) Good night (4387) Bad night (824)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.

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(505): No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey. http://tfl.nu/fq2r

Replies (3) Good night (2223) Bad night (643)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.

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(402): Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard. http://tfl.nu/co7z

Replies (31) Good night (7046) Bad night (1095)
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(805): View more from California

Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.

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(805): Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer. http://tfl.nu/bp97

Replies (7) Good night (3480) Bad night (790)
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.

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(920): Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work. http://tfl.nu/fle5

Replies (15) Good night (6528) Bad night (1052)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?

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(610): I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show? http://tfl.nu/56pk

Replies (28) Good night (4257) Bad night (2328)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.

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(203): The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man. http://tfl.nu/yftr

Replies (5) Good night (3645) Bad night (1391)
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(701): View more from North Dakota

Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.

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(701): Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle. http://tfl.nu/xafh

Replies (9) Good night (1418) Bad night (2066)
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(440): View more from Ohio

Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.

(1-440): View more from Ohio

That's better than I've done so far.

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(440): Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today. (1-440): That's better than I've done so far. http://tfl.nu/4hrm

Replies (0) Good night (1222) Bad night (603)
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(817): View more from Texas

Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka

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(817): Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka http://tfl.nu/xkay

Replies (9) Good night (661) Bad night (1318)
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(317): View more from Indiana

Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol

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(317): Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol http://tfl.nu/rsq8

Replies (8) Good night (1071) Bad night (387)
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(613): View more from Ontario

Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...

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(613): Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches... http://tfl.nu/4xud

Replies (9) Good night (1046) Bad night (455)
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(425): View more from Washington

she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.

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(425): she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers. http://tfl.nu/95mp

Replies (4) Good night (1222) Bad night (397)
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(305): View more from Florida

I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned

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(305): I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned http://tfl.nu/trme

Replies (0) Good night (350) Bad night (600)

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