Texts From Last Night

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  (972): View more from Texas

  What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?

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  (972): What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard? http://tfl.nu/a8hs
  Replies (1) Good night (935) Bad night (1232)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.

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  (724): He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death. http://tfl.nu/mm9y
  Replies (15) Good night (711) Bad night (2623)
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  (716): View more from New York

  he smelled like listerine and beef tacos

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  (716): he smelled like listerine and beef tacos http://tfl.nu/l079
  Replies (9) Good night (804) Bad night (4664)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner

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  (905): It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner http://tfl.nu/bz5d
  Replies (11) Good night (5175) Bad night (2039)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...

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  (828): I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos... http://tfl.nu/fyfs
  Replies (9) Good night (3073) Bad night (1006)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even

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  (317): Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night... (317): Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even http://tfl.nu/pe86
  Replies (7) Good night (2879) Bad night (819)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.

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  (413): If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night. http://tfl.nu/7nph
  Replies (6) Good night (2128) Bad night (1547)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....

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  (817): I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy.... http://tfl.nu/l8ba
  Replies (8) Good night (1912) Bad night (745)
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  (619): View more from California

  Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?

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  (619): Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened? http://tfl.nu/i6wm
  Replies (6) Good night (1742) Bad night (651)
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  (310): View more from California

  I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.

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  (310): I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there. http://tfl.nu/gafs
  Replies (3) Good night (1027) Bad night (437)
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  (925): View more from California

  I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability

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  (925): I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability http://tfl.nu/3svt
  Replies (1) Good night (436) Bad night (514)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.

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  (602): He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME. http://tfl.nu/3gtt
  Replies (6) Good night (412) Bad night (574)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.

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  (203): I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all. http://tfl.nu/yj74
  Replies (1) Good night (336) Bad night (493)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.

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  (617): Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned. http://tfl.nu/urtx
  Replies (0) Good night (549) Bad night (316)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen

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  (512): The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen http://tfl.nu/mpbb
  Replies (2) Good night (145) Bad night (298)

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