careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
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