can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake