do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'll put lettuce on them
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake