Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(301): View more from Maryland

and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit

Fav 8 4795 1272
share tweet
(410): View more from Maryland

There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional

Fav 11 4926 1640
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(724): View more from Pennsylvania

noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.

Fav 8 3741 1180
share tweet
(513): View more from Ohio

Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?

Fav 14 1635 4826
share tweet
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
Read it at the TFLN blog
(641): View more from Iowa

I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.

Fav 9 967 4098
share tweet
(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...

Fav 7 2335 855
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(248): View more from Michigan

THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST

Fav 5 1931 879
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(704): View more from North Carolina

I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper

Fav 12 1240 675
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(320): View more from Minnesota

It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..

Fav 1 142 183
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT