Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(208): View more from Idaho

And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you

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(208): And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you http://tfl.nu/dnhr

Replies (15) Good night (3249) Bad night (890)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours

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(615): Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours http://tfl.nu/h5ci

Replies (10) Good night (4067) Bad night (950)
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(212): View more from New York

It's never good when you wake up covered with burns

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(212): It's never good when you wake up covered with burns http://tfl.nu/8fkk

Replies (15) Good night (770) Bad night (3987)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...

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(843): my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk... http://tfl.nu/ndqi

Replies (14) Good night (5824) Bad night (1421)
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(815): View more from Illinois

I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?

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(815): I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed? http://tfl.nu/umcp

Replies (13) Good night (4046) Bad night (1444)
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(571): View more from Virginia

I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed

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(571): I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed http://tfl.nu/piiv

Replies (25) Good night (5100) Bad night (1402)
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(283): View more from Ohio

by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?

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(283): by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours? http://tfl.nu/2a7f

Replies (6) Good night (1997) Bad night (754)
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(720): View more from Colorado

You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.

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(720): You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis. http://tfl.nu/1eq4

Replies (3) Good night (1885) Bad night (707)
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(903): View more from Texas

Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?

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(903): Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ? http://tfl.nu/d8rt

Replies (28) Good night (4495) Bad night (868)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.

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(405): Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable. http://tfl.nu/luso

Replies (16) Good night (1134) Bad night (2282)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.

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(570): If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene. http://tfl.nu/rk7g

Replies (2) Good night (534) Bad night (1274)
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(513): View more from Ohio

I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?

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(513): I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete? http://tfl.nu/ue0i

Replies (3) Good night (1239) Bad night (886)
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(209): View more from California

I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.

(209): View more from California

Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.

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(209): I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now. (209): Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4. http://tfl.nu/hx3p

Replies (12) Good night (2253) Bad night (969)
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(319): View more from Iowa

Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later

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(319): Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later http://tfl.nu/ccad

Replies (5) Good night (850) Bad night (618)
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(613): View more from Ontario

I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?

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(613): I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night? http://tfl.nu/khmv

Replies (5) Good night (753) Bad night (583)

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