and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..