You just made me feel so damn special
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Randomize
