Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
