ya dads aren't the best wingmen
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
