he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
