Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
