I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
