Don't you send me to vm
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
