If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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