i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
