Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
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The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
My vagina is very pro this idea
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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