Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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