Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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