She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Enjoy the penises
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
