Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
And then my night got REAL pukey
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
