btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
