Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
