the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
