she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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