I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
