I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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