i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
