I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
