Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
