Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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