Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
