She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
