You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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