You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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