Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
