God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
