she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
