It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
