I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
