he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
