Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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