So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
All I want is dick and wine.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
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