I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
