my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
