He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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