Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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