well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
