Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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