I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
