The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
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so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
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doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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