i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Randomize