We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
porn star boner night. come get it.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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