Dual....:-)
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
