MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
God I need to hump something, right now.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
