So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
