there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Randomize
